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An Ode to Earplugs

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newHeroSuper$7.59 gets me 12 orange foam earplugs.  Marketed as “Super Light” they’re perfect for “landscaping, home improvement, shooting sports, traveling and sleeping”… or so the packaging says.  They reduce sound by 33 decibels, rating one point higher than most of the other earplugs I found at the Walgreens.  It has been the best investment I’ve ever made on any trip ever.  Why?

I usually sleep like Rip Van Winkle — as in I fall asleep instantly and it takes the force of a stampede running through a mine field to wake me up.  I never really need them for flying either as I don’t have issues with my ears popping anymore.  But I am in Miami right now… and it just so happens to be Spring Break which is the loudest event on the face of the planet.

I’m staying in the ultra trendy South Beach area at the hip Catalina Hotel & Beach Club.  Directly below my room are two bars, a restaurant and a club.  Not to mention, the people staying in this hotel think that they’re the only guests staying here and see no need to be courteous to those who chose to sleep at 3 a.m rather than go clubbing.  On my first night here, someone passed out in front of my room.  Hours later, when this person’s friends returned at 4:34 a.m, they began to scream because they thought he was dead.  Needless to say, getting to sleep has been an issue… that is until I invested in ear plugs.

The level of excitement I experienced buying these earplugs was equivalent to clothes shopping before a new trip.  There were so many to choose from — silicon, foam, plastic, women’s (why, because they’re pink?).  A promise of embarking on a night of quality of sleep!

I roll the foam into a point and stick them in my ears.  The foam expands again filling my ears with the sweet sweet sound of silence.  The only thing I can hear is my breath, the slow hum of a bass from the club and the distant cry of an idiot in the bar down stairs.  Damn “woo” girls.


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